Wednesday, October 14, 2009

The Bane of My Existence

Want to know who really grates on my nerves? i just know you're thinking it's the crazies down at Wal-mart. Well, they do, but that's not who (or is it whom?) I'm talking about.

Could it be Bill who has suddenly been struck with a case of amnesia when is comes to replacing the toilet paper roll? No, with a quick demonstration, I think I have re-taught him that skill.

Nope, it's this character:


Now, before you all jump on me and start yelling things like, "Ah, she's so cute!" and "Look at that face. She's so adorable!" Let me explain.

Lucy dog only has three hobbies and they all annoy the crap out of me.

1. She is a shedding pig. I swear that dog puts out 2 pounds of hair a day. I literally have to vacuum twice a day. And I don't want hear that I should brush her more. I do brush her, but she tends to try to run away from home when I do that task. I believe she actually flipped me the bird the last time I tried that task.

2. She barks constantly... bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark! Annoying, right? And it's not like she even barks at anything in particular. She just sits on the deck and barks when she hears a bird sing, or sees a leaf float by, or if an airplane flies overhead, or if someone starts their car 4 blocks over. I think you see my point.

3. She is a food thief. Her favorite person in the world is Riley. Not because of any other reason other than his hand is mouth height. His snacks are easy pickins'. He's like her own mini-smorgasbord. Here's the proof:

"Why dear Lucy, what's that in your mouth?"

"Oh, I see Riley once again didn't get to finish his lunch."